please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
