he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
