She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
