You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
