you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
