She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
