Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
