I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
