Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize