Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
