I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
