real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize