Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
