Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize