happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
