HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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