haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
