when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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