just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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