i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
