So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
