Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
