It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
