we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
