Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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