Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
