So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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