There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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