Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
