Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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