Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize