Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
