we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
