Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
