Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
