Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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