'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
