ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
