girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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