dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
