just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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