he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
