Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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