I could have mohawked her pubes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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