he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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