She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
