another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
