we're blogging at a bar
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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