Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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