Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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