Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
