i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
