Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
