Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
