Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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