So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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