Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize