I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
