I'm really into asian looking animals
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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