one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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