Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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