you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no, he came in my armpit
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
